Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Hooped.

I think I'm a smart girl. Academically speaking, I pick up concepts easily and have very good recall. With a mild/moderate amount of effort I have been pulling off A's in 3 out of my 4 classes. But there's that one little pesky class that i just can't seem to get into. Maybe because it's the hardest.....I have to have a 60%(C) in this class in order for it to count as a nursing credit and in order to stay in the nursing program. I have a 65ish% right now. I've put it a mild amount of effort and oddly enough, that mild amount just isn't cutting it this time around. So I've formulated a plan. My prof posted how many questions are going to be on the test from each chapter. So instead of cramming and stuyding 14 chapters, I'm going to hardcore study 4 chapters and if all goes according to plan, that will give me 82 marks. With the other questions I'll get right, I'll add 10 marks to that for a grand total of 92. Which would mean i'd get 76.7 % on the final. That mark would bring up my average by about 6 percent which would leave me with a 71. Which is perfect! ....now if i could have only used this knowledge to just stay on top of things during the last semester.....live and learn though right!??!

Along with weekend drop in's, I go to Girls Group at the Bridge. Myself, and 3 other volunteers and some youth come together and we eat food, talk about Jesus and share about our lives. Yesterday we talked about how we want to be remembered when we die. I said I wanted to be remembered for service- that i served other people well. Since all the girls know i love AFrica, they said "oh like a mother teresa kind of thing?" and it got me thinking..

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to be remembered like people remember Mother Teresa. But if my life just doesn't happen to unfold like her's did, I still want to be remembered for serving. And not just doing big things like going to Africa for a few months here and there, but the little things. I want to be remembered for always being kind and friendly to cashiers and bus drivers. That I always gave 100% when helping people. That i never passed up an opportunity to help. That I had great compassion even for white people:):) 1 Peter 4:10-11 says "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms.If you speak, you should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If you serve, you should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised though Jesus Christ."

One girl shared that she experienced the love of Christ so profoundly a few weeks ago while skating with friends. She's been through a lot and is a real trooper, struggling daily, but overcoming. She talked about the negative thoughts that would dominate her mind about not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough- the usual things girls these days struggle with. And it got me thinking of this verse I've really come to love lately.

1 Peter3:3 "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Rather it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit, which is of great wworth in God's sight."

I used to read this and just skim past it because I don't have the quietest or gentlest spirit...or so i thought. Just because i'm outgoing and have volume control issues sometimes doesn't mean i can't have a quiet and gentle spirit too. I think that my quiet and gentle spirit is revealed in how I love deeply. In how I feel other people's pain and can empathize well. In how I am learning to confront friends with issues not in a sarcastic mean-ish way like i used to, but in love and for the right reasons.

I struggled all through high school with being good enough. I was never good enough and there was always someone better at everything than me. So i tried to make my outward appearance conform with what I what I thought it should and it only made me feel worse. Now when I'm having a bad day, i meditate on this verse and focus more on changing and bettering my inside than my outside.

I have a hard time saying NO sometimes. A new friend inviting me over for dinner tonight after meeting her at Church in the Caf last weekend. We have lots of mutual friends from home and she just seemed SO cool and SO friendly. So i said for sure. Now its crunch time and i'm hooped for my exams so i decided to prioritize and cancel. As soon as i push send i'm worried that she'll be mad, or disapppointed, and i think maybe i should just go. But i know the whole time i'd be there i'd be worrying about my exam and not having any fun. A few minutes later i get this response...

Dear sweet Jesus bless Amy as she studies for her test...Lord give her your peace and help her to drink in all the information that she needs to know. Bless Amy and give her the concentration to keep to the task..we pray for a fantastic grade on her exam Lord we know that this test is not beyond you-thank you God for the amazing woman of God that Amy is-continue to pour your Holy Spirit upon her...Amen

I think you are very wise to focus on your exams...us Foxs will miss you and are looking forward to having you in our home another night-when do you leave for Sherwood Park? Would you like to meet for coffee at Timmies one day before we both trek across the country?We are leaving on the 17th..hopefully we will start driving around 4 am :))))

So absolutely no pressure...I will continue to pray for you throughout the week-you will do an amazing job on your exam...
Hugs
Richelle :))


I was SOOOO blessed by this small little email!! Thanks Richelle!!!!

I'll keep you all updated on my exam studying progress:)

4 comments:

Rox said...

I am in tears and humbled that a leading to pray for you ..would in turn bless me right back...I don't even know you yet Amy and I love you with Christs love xo You are a shining light and your realness about your feelings will touch everyones hearts around you..spreading Christs love in the process xo
Have a great week-Richelle

jena said...

I remember when Keith was studying for his nursing finals... painful was an understatement. We will be praying for you. Let us know how fabulous you do when it's all over!

Angie said...

Amy,

I will have the whole crew praying for you and pulling for ya!

Hang in there and KNOW you walking right where the Lord wants you.

Leigh said...

Praying for all of your finals.

We are more alike than you see. We are sisters in Christ who have a heart for African orphans, your day will come friend and I cannot wait to bless you the way you are blessing me!